137. representation

I just read something that I wanted to use for my Twitter bio, but I'm hesitating because I actually like my current one, which is "Not nearly as classy as I (sometimes) appear. My favourite pastime is singing along in harmony to recordings of songs." 

Then I was going to tweet about this dilemma, but I realised I had too much to say. Whenever I get like this, I feel like I have too much to say, for Twitter; but too little to write for a blog entry (read: too lazy). 

I don't have enough different social media accounts to put up varied short representations of myself on. Does anyone even write walls of text for their "About Me" sections anymore? Maybe we're all too lazy to explain ourselves. Or more like, how could we even begin capture ourselves in words, or non-words, if we find out something new about ourselves each day? Or rather, finding out how little we actually know ourselves.

Anyways, what I really wanted to share was

“ That period in your 20’s where you’re necessarily having to separate yourself from a kind of romantic idea of yourself. ” — Noah Baumbach on “Frances Ha”

Hah. Funny how that's quite linked to what I didn't know (yet) I was going to end up talking about.

I think I romanticise younger me a lot. "Infallible", I was once called. Haha. I think there was a lot of external more-showy, more beautiful/cool-sounding affirmation before. Maybe things got bad when I stopped getting those. Because those were the ones that had value to me. But affirmation comes in many different forms, and I realise now that the form I appreciate most and the one I'm most grateful for and will cling to is the kind that stays despite ... everything.

"There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear." I never really understood this until I felt it for myself. Or that joy is equitable to peace. Thanks, God, for letting me understand those two things.

I don't know how long this period is going to be. But I think I'm always going to have to consciously remind myself to look at and evaluate 'present' me and not expect myself to follow the trajectory of who I was when I was 16 or 17. Coz' that's not me anymore. And if I really like the 'romanticised' me- Hey, that's the time to get off my butt and actually make it a reality.

And also, random! I know most of you don't know this, because really, there's no reason for you to and it's not like it's something that would come up in any day-to-day conversation but - I put in more effort into how my paragraphs physically look than I should.

Have a good 2016, everybody. I want to say it's weird that it feels like nothing's changed but realistically, wouldn't it be weirder to feel like suddenly everything's changed just because time is going on its merry way as it usually does?