Reconciliation is not enough; reconciliation is not the end. It's like when you're wearing a white outfit out and you're scared anxious panicked that you're gonna eat something sit on something do something that's gonna stain it dirty it ruin it so you end up not living. You're dead stifled stuck unable to breathe. That's what reconciliation feels like sometimes, that's what being a Christian is like sometimes.
The devil is good at two things. First, temptation. Second, despair. Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. Not this time. I will not peg my worth to you. I will not see me how you see me, a weapon of hurt or a cesspit of disappointment to hit back at the One who loves me most. I am His child, a child of light and a child for day. I was made for greater things than this.
Lord Jesus Christ, have mercy on me.
